Hi Naomi,

I am writing to ask you for some advice on Spirit Guides. My cousin recently said that she received a message from her Spirit Guide. She said that her Spirit Guide had been trying to communicate with her for the past few months, however she had been blocking her Spirit Guide’s attempt at communication. Her Spirit Guide is an uncle that passed away a couple of years ago. Her Spirit Guide finally managed to get her message to her, however, it came “through” a friend/colleague of hers, who was relaying the messages from the Spirit Guide to my cousin.

My question is: 

Can a Spirit Guide communicate in this manner? My belief was that they didn’t communicate in this manner. I’m concerned for my cousin and her believing what this woman had to say. As far as I know, she’s not psychic. In fact, I believe she’s making it up to manipulate her. I would love your professional opinion on this matter, even if it just gives me more clarity as to how Spirit Guides communicate with us.


The UNIVERSE, aka Higher Source, God, Divinity, the quantum sphere, whatever you want to call it, does communicate with us in any way it can. We are all plugged into a “higher intelligence,” a “cosmic consciousness” that sends us signs and signals of all sorts. They are usually soft, profound whispers in the background of our life, easily overlooked and prone to go unnoticed if we don’t go out of our way to get still. Sometimes these signs come through what another person says to us, a song we overhear, a line in a television show, an ad on the subway, a book we are drawn to, an instance of synchronicity (aka, there truly is no such thing as a coincidence), a chance encounter, or a whole slew of other ways.

Spirit Guides are not to be confused with those HIGHER and HIGHEST beings. There are many different spiritual belief systems asserting a lot of different things, and there’s a whole lot of mystery to the quantum realm. So it's not my job here (or yours for that matter) to assess what's "Right" here and what's "Wrong"--what's “absolutely true” and what's not true. This is really between your cousin and her Higher Source, not between you and her. It’s not even between her and the colleague who told her whatever she told her.

I would encourage you to let go of your investments in what your cousin is choosing to believe, allow her to have her own experience and understandings, even if she has to learn some things the hard way. Get into your own backyard, your own center. We are not in charge of other people’s beliefs, actions, and choices. "Worrying" for them isn't the most productive energy, and indeed puts an oppressive and controlling energy out there as its shadow, operating along with the sweet, genuine, heartfelt concern it expresses.

With that stated, in my own spiritual frame of reference, in the teachings I've encountered AND in my own 12-years as a professional intuitive consultant, Spirit Guides are NOT our deceased friends or relatives. Our deceased friends and relatives can and do certainly help us tremendously on our paths after they've crossed over (if they are assigned or authorized to do so.) They are there for us as spirits, as humans crossed over, in many invisible ways, offering subtle guidance and support. But they are not our Spirit Guides. Spirit guides have a far greater responsibility to serve us expertly and intensively on our life paths than do our deceased loved ones.

ALSO: The mind is meant to be the servant of our intuition, and the intuition is the way the universe communicates with us. So our culture has it backwards when we prioritize our brain-based and 5-senses-based interpretations over our soul-led ones, over our Inner Knowing. HOWEVER: It’s important that we not go to the other extreme, ignoring the sound input of the mind and throwing caution to the wind in the face of an intuitive hit—whether our own or someone else’s.

We MUST always use our brains, our intellect, and our smarts, to discern and process the messages of the intuition. It's never wise to assume that because a message comes to us through signs or intuition (much less from someone else’s intuition) that it's correct, that it's to be believed, or to be followed.

WE must position ourselves “at cause” and in the driver's seat of our lives. NO quantum being, not Spirit Guides, not angels or archangels, and not even God, will override our human birthright of free will. Let me also say that I haven't seen a case where a Spirit Guide was aggressive about getting a message to us. They are there in service to us, in a permanent manner, in a silent, invisible manner, and generally speaking they are not allowed to interfere with our HUMAN doings and unfoldings in a way that is apparent to us.

Now let me qualify that: They can only intervene in an overt way *if we ask directly and invite them in, if we initiate and cultivate a relationship with them*. So if someone is, for any reason, energetically blocking them, a Spirit Guide would not be persistent and override that blocking. Now beings of a higher phyla than that might intervene, like God, angels, or archangels in order to wake a person up *if* that is what's meant to be, if the person is ripe for it, if it's for the person's greatest good, AND if it’s what their soul is asking for. But in my understanding, that is definitely not the role of a Spirit Guide.


• Click here to read my short MindBodyGreen blog on “Befriend Your Spirit Guides: 3 Simple Steps”

• Click here to watch my 3-minute YouTube video on “Listening to Your Spirit Guides and Using Your Intuition”