I am sooooo excited to share with you a written reading I did for a bright, beautiful client, a young woman in her twenties.  She came to me with questions on the topic of L-O-V-E, particularly about the status of her somewhat ambiguous “situation” with a young man she feels passionately about. I am thrilled she has generously allowed me to share with you the messages I got for her!

I am certain that some of you will relate directly, and that even those of you in different circumstances, will have some useful take-away!  Plus it ought to be super interesting unto itself just to “peek over” into someone else’s guidance from me.  My hopes are that you enjoy reading it and that it expands your broader understanding of life and love, reminding you of the spiritual perspective! 

Also please know it’s a good chunk of writing, most of a full-length reading, so grab a steaming mug of your favorite tea and take your time with it!

*Please note, all names have been changed in the interests of confidentiality.*

Here goes:

Dearest Natalia,

Joshua “is into you” and as he tells you for himself, he loves you. He means this with total sincerity. And yet he is truly feeling non-committal within himself, hence no talk from him of “moving forward” or about even possibilities for the future, but yet he is expressing genuine affection and warmth. This cannot be manufactured or faked.  Thankfully this is not a guy who feels awkward or tense about having you around or is indulgently tolerating your company or your presence in his life.

This matter of truly “loving you” while also not seeing that as any particular call to action, is something men tend to be pretty good at, unlike us women who so easily get derailed and distracted from our own areas of needed focus. Most of us females are worshippers at the altar of love. When love beckons we not only follow, we take this beckon as an explicit call to action, operating on an assumption that love should never be ignored or suppressed.

And even if we take out the “should,” we are still left with our own inner, primal compulsion—we can’t help ourselves from being enlisted. And sometimes this enlistment is more powerful than we deem sensible or commensurate with the situation in terms of the time and energy that bleeds out of us, even just stewing over it and hashing it out in our heads and our hearts.

However, there is great spiritual growth possible through this divine process. We are programmed perfectly for our own development on our individual path. And the perfect circumstances present themselves to us along the way so we learn the lessons we are meant to learn in order to become the EXACT people we are meant to become. So please embrace, accept, and honor the current circumstance. Your soul has signed up for this, even as your brain might resent the feeling your life is on hold, the ambiguity, the suspense, the constant unanswered questions.

Deepak Chopra says, “the greatest measure of enlightenment is how well you tolerate ambiguity, contradiction, and paradox.” Well, welcome to your incarnation, your individualized, custom journey to enlightenment! Where you are being forced to deal with these universal realities, in which not everything can be tied up neatly in a bow, or exists in a cut and dry form. 

Men do not, being fundamentally “freedom”-oriented, automatically see love as a call to action. And even in the face of love, experiencing the intense pull of love’s beckon, they still often opt for freedom. They don’t let their emotions run the show, and they are “at home within themselves” enough to stay on course, solidly on their own path, with a keen sense of purpose and what is right for them. They know on an instinctive level what they need for themselves and their life, and this dominates them, even in the face of having a great, an amazing, an irreplaceable prospective partner present herself.

This is the position Joshua feels to me to be in right now.

The cards are adamant that “this is not in your head”—this is not “an unhealthy obsession.” It’s NOT that “he’s just not that into you.” Your feelings are real, the bond between you two is powerful and mutual, and there is a strong “sacred contract,” which is a soul connection that is pre-established before even incarnating on this planet, meaning a past life connection, and a “meant to be” quality to this relationship.  The connection between you is a powerful binding cord and at the VERY least represents a cosmic growth test of the most powerful kind. 

The truth is, no matter what’s in store with him, you can’t lose. For a connection like the one the two of you have, however you define it, whatever stage it’s at, at any given time, is nothing short of a miraculous gift from above. Can you continue to stay detached, which means grant him his freedom, freedom to choose his own path, and freedom from even your unexpressed, inner “expectations.” Those secret “hopes” broadcast loudly for men. You may as well be shouting it in his ear, your longing, your yearning, your desire for more.

This is true even when you have a handle on it as you do now. I’m proud/as are the cards, that you are in a much, much stronger place within yourself than you were months ago. Gone is the neediness and the insecurity. Gone are the pleas and overtures and hints, even the subtle, inward whining and whimpering : )  Truly please know that this growth within yourself is the crux of the matter.  

Indeed, even as it might feel less exciting or glamorous than an idealized vision of an amazing relationship with this man, what you are going through with him right now, in the present, is the very purpose of karmic contracts with other people, soul mate connections such as the one between the two of you.

Karmic contracts above all serve to catapult you to higher heights within your being, the very person you are, and are meant to become. This is most importantly the role he is playing in your life right now. Compelling you into a level of self-mastery you never could have or would have attained had he ever simply “presented” himself to you as yours, end of story. 

Please value this, treasure this bond in its exact current form, for this is the true meaning of interpersonal connections—those relationships are most powerful that compel us to grow and evolve. The current state of things is happening FOR you and not TO you. Celebrate each and every day how your love for this man has catalyzed you in incredible ways, and forced you to “grow up,” to come into a level of “spiritual maturity” and powerful young womanhood (emerging from “adult-girl” to true woman).

This new you can live out all your dreams, with or without Joshua. This new centered, serene, empowered you can set the world ablaze! As you are meant to. Love is always a classroom where learning takes place and tests are taken. Love being the great catalyzer, the awakener, the catapulter. Love is the vehicle we women can’t resist getting into when it pulls up, taking us wherever a higher power, a force stronger than our own will-power, wants us to go. 

This is the actual truth of love, the point of love, the meaning of love in our lives.  The possibilities for magic, joy, connection, fireworks, and building a life with someone are what compel us, what lure us in. Our ideas about what love can offer us lure us straight into that great hall of study called L-O-V-E. The lessons in love’s study hall are more growth inspiring than in any other school. Here the most powerful life lessons are learned and we refine who we are. This remains the case even as we are not always aware of this dimension of things.

Love is ever the classroom, and your course of study here in this case, is a unique and challenging one, being so close to this man, without being able to claim him as your own.  This is your personal, customized sacred curriculum. Each of us has a one-of-a-kind life’s curriculum, the exact way things are meant to be. So embrace being you, embody yourself, surrender to this phase on your path. Don’t lament or wish you were different, or the situation were different.  

You will not stay in this holding pattern forever, or even for the long-term.  If you focus on yourself, get centered on your path, if you fill yourself up with yourself, you will either lose interest in Joshua altogether, or you will so powerfully magnetize him he won’t be able to spend another single moment without you by his side. If you connect so powerfully to yourself that clarity springs forth, you can altogether avoid an elaborate, painful, perhaps even an unsuccessful attempt at “untangling” and “unraveling” the complex ties between you, because the situation will take care of itself in one direction or the other, completely effortlessly. 

Meanwhile, if you let it be ABOUT the lessons instead of a deeply hungered for outcome (aka an agenda), you will expedite the process of getting to the exact clarity you need, and the “freedom” of knowing what’s absolutely best for you in your life. If Joshua’s passion is freedom right now, and yours is love, then your lesson right now is in being free, embracing the magic, the high vibration of freedom even when we don’t want to be free. And his lesson is to open up to love, in his own time, in his own way.

Spiritually speaking, this situation is forcing a level of enlightenment upon you, about universal truths, including around how we never actually own another person. The lack of definition doesn’t take anything away from your connection to another. For even when we “define” a relationship in a particular way, that doesn’t make it so. Many women are married to a man who offers no more “security” or “stability” to them than if they were not married. They too may feel insecure and needy, these wives, as much as many single women do. 

People tend to take into the relationship with them their issues (aka “wherever you go, there you are”). If you were lonely before, guess what, now you are lonely in your relationship. If you were insecure, guess what, you are even more so now you have the relationship. So your job before getting into an actual committed relationship is to continue to develop yourself!! Embrace and embody who you are. Fill yourself up with yourself! With self-care, self-acceptance, healthy self-importance!! Sing the song, and dance the dance, of NATALIA!!! And trust you will be delivered what is meant for you.

In my practice people sometimes come to me with a question about their long-term marriage, and I see a truth through the cards, that the marital connection between them has long since died (emotionally, physically, spiritually). Meaning we have the label here, the definition of “marriage” applied to this relationship, but the label is not accurate in the real sense, which in my hands means in the spiritual sense, in the sense of the “true essence” of the relationship.

And I also see the opposite. I see a truth of powerful connections between people such as you and Joshua, a truly meaningful bond that is very active even in “absentia” and across the vast geographical, space/time distance between you. And yet this relationship carries no definition whatever. Even to call it simply a “friendship” doesn’t convey a nuance of more than friends, and a deep soul connection, that is clearly there at the same time.

Finally in terms of the general message I have for you about this, the message here is for you to CULTIVATE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! Bless this divine man, this divine Joshua. Detachment is another word for unconditional love. It’s not about boundaries, barriers, and holding your space. It’s about allowing someone else their own free will. Being secure enough to do that for another person. To trust in yourself enough to be able do that, to trust in a higher power and in the universe enough to be able to do that! And to trust in Joshua himself, in his own best judgment for himself and his life choices!

Trust Joshua to do the right thing for himself. And trust that you will be ABSOLUTELY FINE regardless of how this plays out. Don’t “wait” for him—don’t put your eggs in this basket. But just let it play out from a healthy place of detachment (which again, is another word for unconditional love). Embrace the unknowns here, the great mystery, the unexplainable metaphysics of your connection to Joshua. Surrender. Grow, connect to your own path, get on your train track, and love yourself madly all the while.  

There is love here, and no reason not to follow. Just stay healthily detached and come from love and passion. Step by step, just keep doing what God, aka a higher power, aka your inner directives ask you to do. At times this may mean simply being PATIENT. I would try to learn to enjoy this relationship without any need for labels, no need for clarifying from him, not asking for reassurances. Just enjoy it!! If you can simply learn to enjoy it, without asking for parameters, explanations, and so on, you have a wayyyyy better chance of getting a commitment from this man.

Because it’s through HIS enjoying his time with you---because it’s safe, it’s nice, it’s fun, he feels great around you, it’s predictable, not a bumper car ride which includes for a man sudden detective-like turnarounds represented by a woman’s inquiries of “where are we at, where are we going, where do we stand?” How bout you just totally spare him that. ENJOY it and play it by ear. Meanwhile, don’t put your own life on hold, in fact ramp it up!! Live it to the fullest. Herein lies self-mastery.

Get strong and centered on your own path! This is your ticket to true clarity. Connect to what’s within you. What’s longing to be lived out and expressed by you. Your life’s purpose. Promise to cultivate the wherewithal to make the best decisions for yourself from a place of powerful Knowing and certitude!

I’m compelled here, in closing, to remind you of the enlightened words of the great Joseph Campbell:

“The privilege of a lifetime is just to be you.”