HOW MAGICAL RELATING SAVED MY MARRIAGE

Four years ago, I visited a palm-reader who can deduce from the lines on your hand what she calls your “soul print.” She was spot on in her assessments about my programming and my purpose on this planet. She quickly earned my trust and respect. As I left her office, she randomly said to me as an aside, “don’t even think about leaving your current relationship without first taking Alison Armstrong’s workshop, ‘Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women’!”

I wasn't compelled by this latter tip, to be honest. I had no interest in taking such a workshop. I myself was already back then a sought-after intuitive with a real gift for helping my clients master their love lives. I thought to myself with hubris, “if anyone understands the advanced calculus of romance and intimacy—on both the spiritual and material world levels—it’s me!”

And yet, even as I was indeed helping my clients achieve great victories in their love lives, the palm reader was right that my own relationship was on the rocks. At the time, it felt like a tempest in a teapot, like my husband and I were trapped in a swirling tornado of “irreconcilable differences.” 

With 20/20 hindsight, it’s easy to see the external circumstances that were intensifying our conflicts with one another. We had just welcomed into our lives our adorable youngest daughter, our third child. One week before her birth, my husband found himself at the mercy of the economic downturn, and was laid off from a job he liked, did well at, and that paid well. It turned out to be purely a blessing that forced his hand as he set about and ultimately succeeded at realizing his longstanding dream of building his own thriving business. But neither of us could see that silver lining clearly at the time. 

Back then I was slowly and organically growing my intuitive consulting practice and commuting up to Yale two or three long days per week for my full-time position as a professor. Winding up the primary breadwinner at the exact moment I became the mother of a newborn, in addition to needing to be there for my three-year old son and my tween daughter, challenged my limitations.

I found the situation extremely stressful, and in the face of it all, I admit I wasn't the most kind or supportive partner to my husband. Post-child-birth is a hormonal and crazily transformational time without these added dimensions. Yet I still cringe at myself in hindsight. Meanwhile, I take solace in knowing that thankfully I now have tools and a higher level of awareness that I didn't have back then. It’s gratifying to think about how differently, how much more gracefully (and lovingly!) I would handle the situation had I to do it over again.

So, the palm-reader’s words rang in my head every time a new storm burst onto the horizon. “Don’t leave him until you've taken the workshop,” echoed and clanged in my brain. One day, out of sheer desperation, I signed up for the workshop.

The event wasn't coming to my area for several more months, so in the meantime, I read a ton of books, studied other genius relationship masters like Marianne Williamson’s and Harville Hendrix’s philosophies on love life, and sought out other means to improve my relationship. By the time the workshop rolled around, armed with all the new information I had, my relationship was actually back on solid ground. We were in a fond, warm state of wonderfulness.

“I’ll still go to the workshop,” I told myself. “It can’t hurt to have this information to share with my clients. I’ll check it out as an anthropologist and see what it has to offer.” Well, turns out that attending the workshop was for me afterall, as it enabled me to catapult my relationship to wayyyy higher heights. I discovered that sure, I had excellent advanced calculus skills, but I had no basic mathematics. 

Here was the basic addition, subtraction, and multiplication that demystified it all. “Here’s where things tend to go south, and here’s what to do instead.” Eureka! Now suddenly it all made sense. There was a reasonable explanation for everything! My relationship, even as I was perfectly pleased with it at the time I attended the workshop, went to a far greater level of closeness, connection, mutual understanding, and magic.

So on this powerful relationship-education trajectory, I was surprised by how incredibly helpful taking a relationship workshop is, even if you don’t think it’s your cup of tea or that you even really need it. I was also surprised by just how much power we ourselves have, as one person, when it comes to setting (and changing!) the terms of every relationship in our life. We’re just missing the information we need in order to succeed in our relationships. 

With the positive impact in my life of such teachings, I became extremely passionate about sharing with any and all who wish to listen more about what I have learned in the front row of love’s classroom, along with the powerful guidance I've gotten from my own tarot cards over the last 12 years. I have now led a powerful three-month LOVE LIFE MASTERY program to an amazing group of women and am planning more such programs.

I have also led several of my own workshops on the topic of,M.A.G.I.C.A.L. RELATING: MASTER YOUR DEALINGS WITH OTHERS; HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT.” (My next one is March 28th and 29th 2015!) Alongside this, I am currently planning a series of annual retreats (set to debut in the fall of 2016—stay tuned for more on these spirit-fueling, life-changing adventures!) designed to hand curious, seeking souls the insights they need in order to create fulfilling, rewarding, and satisfying partnerships.

Who doesn't want a relationship rooted in true mutual understanding and deep connectedness?! The more masterful we are at handling our interpersonal dealings, the more magical our lives become. For it’s true that nothing affects our quality of life more than the quality of our relationships.